One-Sided Honesty

          I read a blog post recently from a self-professed narcissist.  It was a confession of sorts written by a woman who has been cheating on her husband who happens to be a soldier deployed overseas.  He is a military hero and she is running around behind his back, apparently with several men, and is planning on divorcing him when he gets back.

          As bad, as horrifying, as that all sounds, that is not really what shocked me.  What got to me was the fact that the people commenting on her post were all very supportive.  They thanked her for being honest words.  They were glad that she gave it to them "raw".

          The problem is that giving words of support to a person who is engaged in such wantonly destructive behavior is not only unhelpful, but dishonest.  It is ultimately unloving and even hateful.

          Let's try an exercise.  Let's try to apply this attitude to other ethical situations.

"I murdered three people yesterday."
                                   "I love your honesty."

"I knocked over an ATM.  I felt guilty, but, oh well."
                                  "Thanks for being so raw with us."

"I drugged a girl and raped her."
                                  "Your truthfulness is admirable."

          See, this line of thinking just does not work.  You cannot simply commend someone for their honesty and leave it at that.  There is another action required: an honest response, and one that is helpful to the person.

          I know, I am a guy, and guys have this tendency to want to try and fix things.  But I cannot read a post like this and simply say that I am glad the author was honest.  I need to be honest with them.

          "You are ruining your life."

          "Get some professional help."

          "Turn yourself into the authorities."

          "Repent and believe the Gospel!"

          A conversation cannot be truly honest is only one person is speaking the truth.  Affirmations of their honesty might as well just be dead silence.  If we are going to be honest we must speak the truth for their sake.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Reflections on the Fall of a Pastor

Image
Tullian Tchividjian, the well known pastor of Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church, has resigned his position.  According to his own statement both he and his wife committed adultery.  This disqualifies him from the pastoral office.  He has willingly acknowledged his affair and peacefully stepped aside. It is a sad day when a pastor must resign his call for any reason, but especially for living an immoral life.  Tchividjian's case gives a great deal of pause for Lutherans in particular since he was highly influenced by Luther's writings and those of contemporary Lutheran scholars such as Robert Kolb.  Tullian, in recent years, has sought to clarify the proper distinction of Law and Gospel in his own preaching as well as to spread that teaching to a wider audience. As Lutherans we have a high view of God's Word in general and of the Gospel in particular.  When a Lutheran pastor falls into temptation does he really need to resign?  Can he not simply be forgiven and reinstate
Read more

One Thing Ken Ham Didn't Say, but Should Have

Tonight came the debate between Ken Ham (creationist) and Bill Nye (evolutionist).  All things considered I thought it was a good debate, a debate from which the people who plan out presidential debates could learn a great many things. There was one point toward the end where the moderator, who also did a fine job of remaining neutral, asked the two men questions gathered from the audience.  One question in particular caught my attention.  It was directed at Ken Ham. He was asked if there were any evidence that could be given that would convince him that the Biblical account of creation was false.  I do not recall his exact answer, but effectively he said "no".  No evidence could shake him in his conviction that God created the world in 6 days. As a Christian, as a 6-day creationist, I was disappointed in this.  Mr Ham did not have the questions beforehand.  He did not have the advantage of hindsight (which I have now).  So I don't want to be too hard on him.  But t
Read more

Why the Resurrection is the Only Answer that Matters

There seem to be some people who are confused as to why the resurrection of Jesus can make or break the argument for a young earth.  On the surface this is not obvious. Why do Christians care how many days it took to create the earth?  I don't.  It could have taken God half a second.  I could have taken Him 40 trillion years.  Why do Christians (myself included) put stock in the fact that Genesis 1 states that it took 6 days? Because Jesus Christ says that the Law and the Prophets (Genesis included) point to Him.  He endorses the Old Testament on several occasions, including a quote of Genesis 2 when discussing marriage and divorce. Because Jesus Christ rose from the dead, a clear indication that the claims He made about Himself were true, including His endorsements of the Old Testament.  Jesus rose from the dead showing His followers that He really was the Son of God. If Jesus did not rise from the dead we are, as Paul says, to be pitied above all people.  The resurrection
Read more