Is sex becoming boring?
My mind pondered this idea a few days ago on my way into Saint Louis. Before you cross the Mississippi River into Missouri there is a certain strip club one must pass on the interstate. Said strip club always has a billboard advertising the latest special feature.
As you might guess these billboards do not vary greatly. The billboard is usually a photograph of a woman from the shoulders up looking rather seductive and inviting any travelers to stop in.
This time, however, was different. As I passed the billboard there were no women. Rather than advertising the club’s newest dancer, they were advertising “wrestling midgets”. So the naked dancing women were replaced by short, clothed, male wrestlers.
I don’t get it. Has sex really gotten that boring?
A more serious example stuck in my mind comes from a PBS documentary I caught just a few minutes of several months ago. A fertility doctor was being interviewed about the advances in his field of study and he proudly asserted that in the near future people will no longer have sex to conceive children.
Hold on a minute. I knew we could have sex without conception, but now you are telling me that people are going to be having conception without sex? How boring is that?! As it is, conceiving a child is just about the best thing in this world. It provides intense physical pleasure and brings many of us as close to playing God as we are likely to ever get. That is not something to be lightly cast aside.
Then there are all of those sex-starved women (http://thefederalist.com/2015/06/30/polyamory-is-next-and-im-one-reason-why/) who cannot seem to be able to convince their husbands to come to bed with them. Seriously, what is the world coming to when a grown man has to have his arm twisted to make love to his wife?
Why is it that we are always being told our sex lives need to be spiced up? Since when did sex become the pea soup of life?
Have you ever eaten plain pea soup? No? I don’t blame you. It isn’t all that great. In fact, it is downright bland. If you are going to attempt its consumption I suggest spicing it up, a lot.
But when, exactly, did we start to think about sex in this way? Sex is not supposed to be bland and boring. It is not the pea soup of life. It is the bacon.
I suggest that sex becomes boring precisely at the point where we try to spice it up. It is simply too much, and our minds cannot handle it. Strip clubs, pornography, erotic literature, lingerie, birth control, and more all add up to try and make sex more sexy. And the result has been pure boredom. Where men used to get excited about seeing the shoulders of Marilyn Monroe, now they barely blink at the sight of Miley Cyrus twerking on television.
Yawn…What channel are the wrestling midgets on?
So what can we do? Get back to basics. I would argue that there is simply nothing more exciting, nothing more physically pleasurable, in this created universe than raw sex between married opposites.
By “raw” I do no mean to imply anything kinky or violent. I mean sex as it was created in the beginning: no latex, no pills, no toys, no clothes, just two bodies, male and female, doing what God created them to do.
You might think that I have missed the mark. Married sex is synonymous with boring, isn’t it? I suppose it could be, but it certainly does not have to be. It is only there, in the context the marriage bed, that naked vulnerability and bold trust come together in perfect harmony. Husband and wife are free to be far better lovers than one-night-stands or even live-in-partners.
Christians, of course, understand this to be the result of a divine mystery. Marriage is a picture of the love of Jesus Christ for His bride, the Church. When a man and women are joined in matrimony, not only are they given the most intimate of human bonds, but they become an image of God to the world. That is all the spice that marriage (and sex) will ever need.
Can sex become boring? Sure, but only if we try too hard to spice it up.